I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
As shirtless as possible
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
