thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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