The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My balls are so social today.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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