Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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