i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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