I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
