Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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