I want to stick my p in your. b.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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