That's intense
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
