No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
