Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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