So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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