I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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