I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
