One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
