Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
