Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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