She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
