that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
