Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
