We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Randomize
