On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
