he wants to bone in the snuggie
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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