Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
