C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
