My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
