I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize