just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
