I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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