real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I party with great urgency now.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
