Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
