I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
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