Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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