craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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