U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
