my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
