omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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