Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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