Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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