1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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