You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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