Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
