well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Dick very happy bro
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
