we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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