we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
