i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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