I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Randomize
