I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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