Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Threesome in a minivan. New low
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
