Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
someone owes me an orgasm
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
