Having a random hookup so left but love u
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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