I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
