I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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