he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
