Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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