You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
