I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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