i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
worst night to have a conscience
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
