wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
