i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
