So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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