I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
