I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize