There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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