At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
