You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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