I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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