Barsexuality is the new black.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
