dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize