put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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