oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
