Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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