marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
