I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
no you cant smoke seaweed
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
