Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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