So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize